Sign O' The Times

This health food shop sold plastic pyramids of all shapes and sizes. We puzzled over their use for ages - were they moulds for ice, or jelly? We even asked the shop owner, who gave us a "what, are you stupid?" look, and said something about energy. We were still perplexed until we saw them "in action". I've come across lots of spiritual mystical guff in India, but this really takes the biscuit.



All toll roads in India have this sign in front of the toll gate. I wonder if Manmohan Singh has to get out his Blockbuster membership card to prove that he is in fact the prime minister. Why can't the toll guys just have a little card in front of them that tells them who's exempt? And do supreme court judges really need to save Rs. 50 on route 7?



Back in the day, each house had a number. In Chennai, people erected smaller buildings between bigger buildings, and separated large houses into smaller flats. Instead of having 4a, 4b etc, they decided to put in place entirely new numbering systems. Now all houses have two numbers - a old one and a new one. Bear in mind that nealy all cities have an old and a new name, and most streets also have two names - for example, "Horse Shoe Corner" is now "Asharkana" (a mangled phonetic aproximation of the original English name). What a mess!



Local government is never satisfied with a simple "Do not litter" or "Don't drink and drive". Each sign writer comes up with his own little slogan. A lot more fun.



That's right. No honking. Honking is a genuine menace in India, and you find no honking signs all over the place, which are totally ignored. A honk can indicate many different things, and precedes many dangerously unpredictable manoeuvres. Many auto rickshaws have the type of horn featured on the sign: the comedy clown horn.



In the Ooty botanical gardens, there was one of these "Do not" signs about every two metres. Do not spit, do not sit on the grass, do not pick the flowers, do not play ball games etc etc. It's a little fascist state. And telling you not to touch the hedge just makes you want to touch the hedge.



Many signs appear to have been written by a Martian with a big vocabulary. This whole tourist attraction, "The World's one and only Thread Garden", was weird. It took 50 women 12 years to create the garden - even the blades of grass are wound with tiny bits of green thread. Why?! I'm not surprised there's "no one to compare and compete".



This sign is from Kodaikanal lake, where you can take out rusty old pedalos. In other walks of life, safety isn't such a high priority, but here, everyone wears a life jacket. Check out rule 11.



Actually, I don't need to be told not to obstruct an elephant.


Thanks to Nia Jane Williams for the photos on this posting.